My dear college friend, Cindy, has been fighting breast cancer for seven years. When I say fighting--I mean fighting....she has fought with dignity, faith, strength and a positive attitude. She doesn't complain and is always so positive! I admire her so much for all she has gone through. She is such an example to me.
I received a phone call from her husband on January 29th telling me that things were not looking good. Just a little background--she had been in the hospital because she was having a hard time breathing--they ran tests and found that the cancer had spread to her lungs. They tried some chemotherapy and on the 28th were told that it was not working and there was nothing else they could do. She wanted me to come. I was so honored. I booked a flight to Phoenix the next day and flew down February 2nd to February 4th. It was an experience I will never forget and I will cherish forever. Cindy's parents were so good to me--driving me back and forth from their house in Mesa where I stayed to her hospice facility in Gilbert. I spent every minute I could with Cindy and was even able to spend a night with her. I am so grateful for that opportunity. Grateful to my husband for making everything work here at home so that I could go and to her for allowing me that time. We talked, we laughed, we enjoyed being together and we ate :-) (well I ate a lot more than she did!!). It was so hard to say goodbye--I knew it would be the last time I would see her.
Cindy & Denise February 2, 2010
Cindy & Denise February 4, 2010
I've thought so much about this life and all of the opportunities that we have to build relationships with others. We don't know how much time we have--yet, I do know that I do not do enough to build and strengthen relationships that I have with my family and friends. I have also learned more about the eternal perspective that we talk about all the time. It really hit me that there are so many things that just do not matter!!! Beating myself up because my house is not decorated perfectly does not matter, the fact that the boys' room is a disaster 98% of the time really does not matter, and being selfish and worrying about "my" time and what "I" have to get done in a day needs to stop, too! I want to look at things more in an eternal perspective. I really want to make a better effort to be a more loving wife, mother and friend.....I know Cindy made this same effort.
Cindy--thank you for the fun memories! College was a fun time and although we were only roommates for a short time, the times we spent together have touched my life forever!! Thank you for your example. You are such a wonderful wife and mother. Your relationship with Toby is admirable. Your children are so beautiful/handsome and it is evident that you have taught them well. I want to be like you when I grow up!!
I regret not posting this sooner, so Cindy would know exactly how I feel. I hope my texts and messages on facebook let her know how truly amazing I think she is and how grateful I am for our friendship. It's a hard day today as I know she is fighting to go. Why wouldn't she? She has such an amazing family, husband, children and friends. I'm not ready to let you go either---I'm feeling really selfish. I am, however, feeling peace knowing that I will see you again--someday--we will laugh together again and enjoy the many blessings awaiting us.
The words to this hymn have been on my mind the last few days:
Each life that touches ours for good Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above Thru words and deeds of those who love
What greater gift dost though bestow, What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends whose gentle ways Strengthen our faith, enrich our days
When such a friend from us departs, We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory, Bringing us nearer, Lord to thee
For worthy friends whose lives proclaim Devotion to the Savior's name,
Who bless our days with peace and love, We praise they goodness, Lord, above.
Goodbye, Cindy!! Your memory will live on in my heart forever. Thank you for being my friend. I love you!
Cindy--thank you for the fun memories! College was a fun time and although we were only roommates for a short time, the times we spent together have touched my life forever!! Thank you for your example. You are such a wonderful wife and mother. Your relationship with Toby is admirable. Your children are so beautiful/handsome and it is evident that you have taught them well. I want to be like you when I grow up!!
I regret not posting this sooner, so Cindy would know exactly how I feel. I hope my texts and messages on facebook let her know how truly amazing I think she is and how grateful I am for our friendship. It's a hard day today as I know she is fighting to go. Why wouldn't she? She has such an amazing family, husband, children and friends. I'm not ready to let you go either---I'm feeling really selfish. I am, however, feeling peace knowing that I will see you again--someday--we will laugh together again and enjoy the many blessings awaiting us.
The words to this hymn have been on my mind the last few days:
Each life that touches ours for good Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above Thru words and deeds of those who love
What greater gift dost though bestow, What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends whose gentle ways Strengthen our faith, enrich our days
When such a friend from us departs, We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory, Bringing us nearer, Lord to thee
For worthy friends whose lives proclaim Devotion to the Savior's name,
Who bless our days with peace and love, We praise they goodness, Lord, above.
Goodbye, Cindy!! Your memory will live on in my heart forever. Thank you for being my friend. I love you!
Cindy and Denise Summer 1990
Cindy, Wendi, Denise BYU 1990-91
Cindy passed away this afternoon, Thursday, March 4th at 4:15 pm. She will be missed!
11 comments:
What a neat experience you got to have with your friend, that is so great you could be there for her and what a great perspective it gave you. It's a perspective that I don't think you can truly "get" any other way. I have that verse (2nd I think) framed on my wall at home, I love it too. Sorry for you and your loss :(
That's so neat that you were able to spend some very memorable days with your friend. It's always so hard to lose loved ones. I love the insights you gained from this experience, although I'm sad for the circumstances. It's always sad to me when someone "too young" passes away. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thanks for leaving this post. This was a reminder I really needed to hear today. I never thought I would forgot all those same feelings as we recovered from our accident 6 years ago, but somehow the craziness of life takes over and casts a shadow on all those important things.
It is experiences like this that can help get us back on track.
Thanks
I have been crying all day at work because I feel so many times I take advantage of people and not wanting to build a close relationship with my friends and family. It's a selfish reason to not get close to these people but, I'm just so grateful to have you in my life. Really, next time you text me to go to the gym, I'm there. No matter what is on TV.
Love you too.
Hey friend! I pulled your blog off your christmas card! This entry made me cry - I just lost a student I taught in first grade to cancer - it's never easy saying good-bye! I've lost your email, but would love to hear from you. You'll have to check out my blog - lots has happened in my family lately - all good things! email me so we can chat!
Oh Denise I am so, so sorry. How great that she had someone like you to spend some of her last hours with. You are so funny and honest and real.. I'm sure just what she needed to be around. Thanks for the reminder on what matters...
Thank you for that post. What a wonderful experience you had. I'm glad that you learned from it and passed it on to us. I need to look at things in an eternal perspective as well. I am always fighting the clock and that needs to stop. Relationships matter so much more than time does.
Denise, I am so sorry for your loss but what an amazing woman she seems to be. This post made me cry for many reasons. I too have had to look at thing with that eternal perspective having lost my brother. Everything you wrote on this post brought tears to my eyes, and was everything that I needed to hear today, especially today! Lots of Love!
I am so sorry, this is really late reading this post. I understand how it feels, loosing my friend Trudy has been a hard thing. If you ever need to talk.. call me.
Love ya, Katie
Denise
I appreciate your post. Even though it's been 3 1/2 months since Cindy died. It was so good reading your feelings & thoughts. I know how hard it is losing her. She did know that it was going to be SO much harder for all those she was leaving behind then it would be for her. Cherish the moments you had with her. She told me after you left how much she loved you & loved having you as a roommate. And what a good friend you've been over the years. She said you were just like a sister and a daughter to her & her parents. That they loved you so much...
You are a Wonderful person & a wonderful friend to her. Days are rough but know she is with all of us. She never let life get her down even when it should of. Let's both remember the good & live on until we see her again...
Looks like you have a lot of friends.
Ok- that song is going to break my freaking heart... I can't listen to it... Change it if it's doing the samething to you & that's why you can't post... Serious anxiety there over feelings with that song...
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